Dear Remus
by frenziedquill
Summary: Remus Lupin, before returning to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, reads a letter he wrote to himself at 11 years old on his first day at Hogwarts. How will the werewolf fit in? For the "A Letter from my Hogwarts Days" challenge.


**A/N: Just wanted to explain this one a little before we start….I wrote this one for a HPFC challenge by ReillyJade, who was patient enough with my writer's block to give me two retries for character choices :)The story takes place right before Remus goes back to Hogwarts to teach DADA in Harry's third year. I am not a genius of literature, so Harry Potter is not mine, but JKR's.**

_Dear Remus,_

_Professor McGonagall told us all we had to write a letter to ourselves and seal it up before we went to bed tonight, which I think is stupid because it's nearly midnight and I have nearly nothing to say. But I can't get her angry at me, someone said she can turn you into stone if she doesn't like you. _

_Anyway, at the moment I am 11 years old. Today was my first day at Hogwarts and I was sorted into Gryffindor House. Mum said that Gryffindor was for the bravest Hogwarts students, even though she was in Ravenclaw, and that's where I always imagined I would go. Dad said he didn't care at all, because he was a Muggle anyways and as long as I promised to show him how a Jelly-Legs Jinx was performed he would be happy. _

_Of course, two months ago it was looking, after all, like I may never go to Hogwarts. Mum says we should all thank our lucky stars Dumbledore is at the school, otherwise I would never learn magic properly. She said if all the measures he took to let me come hadn't been made, that I couldn't go to Hogwarts at all. She said that being a werewolf shouldn't be something to be ashamed of, but everyone was afraid of them anyways. They set up a whole system for me, only me, so I can transform in peace._

_Hogwarts is the most amazing place I have ever been to in my life! The ceiling looks like the sky and everyone wears pointy hats just like in the stories Mum used to tell me. The subjects sound fascinating and the portraits can move and talk and everything is so odd…I met two boys who are in my year, Sirius Black and James Potter, who were sorted into Gryffindor too. They've already gotten in trouble for trying to smuggle the refilling plates out of the Great Hall. They seem nice, and they already asked me to sit with them at breakfast tomorrow morning. I just hope they don't ask about my scars. There's another boy, Peter Pettigrew, who is in our dormitory and seems to be pleasant company as well. I hope we can all be friends._

_I've already written Mum and Dad all bout Hogwarts, and they've promised to write me every week. Of course that sounds a bit too much, because then it will seem like I miss them terribly, which of course I do, but I don't want anyone to think I'm a pansy or anything. I'll just tell them that Berta is too tired for long mail journeys and they should write only every three weeks or so. _

_Tomorrow morning I have Charms first thing, which sounds fascinating. I already know about them quite a bit, of course, as my mother is the head of the accidental Charms department in the Ministry of Magic. Still, it will exciting to do one with a real wand, not just the accidental Charm I did when I was five. But Mum said it was all right, you don't really need your tonsils anyway. I have potions too, which sounds fun. After that is History of Magic, and Transfiguration. Next week we get our first broomstick-riding lesson, and James swears he's going to get on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and be the only first year ever to play Quidditch for his house. I'm not so sure myself, because I've never ridden one. _

_ Professor McGonagall just told us to finish our letters and go to bed. One more thing. Next week is my first Full Moon at Hogwarts. I'm so scared I can't even begin to think about it. If I survive through the next ten years without killing myself or somebody else, when you read this, can you tell me I'll be all right next Friday?_

_ Sincerely,_

_ Remus J. Lupin_

"You'll be all right, Remus. You'll be just fine." 

The tired young man smiled as he folded up the letter and put it back into his coat pocket. He had read that letter at least 20 times in the past few years, but each time he always assured his younger self that the first Full Moon at Hogwarts would go off without a hitch. The Shrieking Shack would take a beating, naturally, as it would for the next seven years, but it would all be attributed to ghosts in the end.

Remus sat down on the floor, rearranging his trunks listlessly. His name, Professor R.J. Lupin, was stamped on each one is faded letters. Professor…the word sounded alien in his mouth, yet it seemed to fit. 

He hadn't believed it last June when Dumbledore wrote him and asked him to teach Defense Against the Dark Art next term at Hogwarts. "There is no one who I feel is better suited for this job at the present time," Dumbledore had said. "I can assure you that we will take measures once again to contain your condition, and that the staff is readily aware of what will take place. We hope, also, that you may be a comfort and a help as we prepare ourselves for the arrival of the dementors and, most possibly, Sirius Black."

Sirius Black…a man I trusted, Remus thought bitterly as he stood up and went to his bedroom. Best friends, they had always been, getting into trouble at Hogwarts with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew – both dead now, because of their once-dear friend… It was still a shock to him that Sirius, handsome, cocky, arrogant Sirius, could ever really go mad and kill someone. To betray his friends to the Dark Lord, killing innocent people and 13 Muggles to boot…it didn't seem possible.

Much had changed since those days at Hogwarts. The War had forced everyone into hiding, forced them to choose sides, forced them to keep secrets. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs failed to keep in contact much anymore, only to pass on news of deaths and disappearances. They only saw each other at Order meetings, until…he didn't want to think of it.

He lay down in bed and stared up at the ceiling. Tomorrow he would go back to Hogwarts, not as a student, but a teacher…some of his classmates now colleagues, his classrooms now his office…he would be forced to rekindle painful memories of time spent with friends who were no longer there. But would anything really change? Would he still be viewed as the sickly little boy who disappeared on Full Moons? Would they still view him as the troublemakers' friend, the boy who stood by while James Potter cursed Severus Snape into a frenzy? Would he be accepted, by anyone, at all? 

"Let's hope so," he murmured as he rolled over. "Dear Remus, if I survive this term without killing anyone or hurting myself, can you tell me if I'll be all right?"

**A/N: um. What do ya think? I tried to make the letter sound like an 11 year old boy, per the run-on sentences and odd word choices. I realize it is extremely short also, because I really wanted to make it a simple short story of Remus reflecting on all that was about to happen. Remember, this is pre-POA, so he still doesn't know Sirius is innocent. Please, please, please review!**


End file.
